Pippin and the Biscuits
by meatball1
Summary: Pippin, Aragorn, and Legolas are all eating dinner in Lothlorien. All goes well until Legolas makes a fatal mistake. Will it cost Pippin his life or will he overcome the power of the biscuit...?


Disclaimer: I still don't own Lord of the Rings. I wish I did. I have to give credit to my friend and me for all the crazy idea's we come up with at the breakfast table, while eating biscuits, muffins, donuts, whatever.  
  
Pippin and the Biscuits  
  
The Fellowship was staying in Lothlórien. Frodo, Sam and Merry were taking a bath together because they are hobbits and that's what hobbits do. Boromir was blabbing to a rock about his father and Gondor. Gimli was getting ready to settle in for the night. Pippin, Legolas, and Aragorn were sitting at a large table waiting for something to eat. Aragorn and Legolas were sitting across from each other with Pippin at the end.  
  
"Tell me again why we had to come with the hobbit to get something to eat." Legolas whined to Aragorn.  
  
"Because," Aragorn began, "We couldn't very well leave this little one to wander for food on this own, he would get lost for sure."  
  
Pippin's eyes widened at the mention of food. "FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD!" He began to bounce up and down with excitement. He fell out of his chair but Aragorn caught him. Legolas looked up at the stares they were getting from the other elves. He put his hands over his eyes and shook his head.  
  
"The food will be here shortly little one, but in the mean time please try and contain yourself." Aragorn said.  
  
Aragorn helped Pippin back in the fairly tall chair. Pippin sat and stared around the beautiful place that he and the fellowship had been welcomed into.  
  
Food arrived shortly after that. The trays were filled with everything a hobbit could ever want. The first thing that caught Pippin's eye was the basket of mushrooms. He dove onto the table with great ease but Aragorn caught him by the collar and set him back down. Pippin looked like a rabid squirrel. He was frothing at the mouth and looked like he wanted to bite Aragorn's head off. Seeing this Aragorn abruptly grabbed a plate and towered it with mushrooms. Pippin launched after the mushrooms and devoured them quickly.  
  
"Pippin, that's all the mushrooms that they are so please eat the sparingly." Aragorn said cautiously as not to get his head bitten off by this deranged squirrel.  
  
Pippin looked down at his empty plate and his mood changed. He looked like at pitiful lost puppy. His eyes grew bigger than Frodo's and began to spill tears out of his eyes. Legolas and Aragorn stared at each other wondering what should be done.  
  
"Here Pippin," Legolas said, "try these." He held out a basket covered with a silky cloth.  
  
Pippin stopped weeping and looked up. The elf's face looked kind so he took the basket. Uncovering the basket he found that inside were rounded loafs of bread looking much like muffins.  
  
"What are they?" Pippin asked.  
  
"They are known as biscuits. Try one. They're quite good." Legolas answered.  
  
Pippin reached into the basket and pulled one out. He put the thing up to his mouth and took a small bite. He chewed it and then swallowed. Thinking for a minute he took another bite. He finally decided he liked this biscuit and put the whole thing in his mouth. Reaching for another he did the same thing. One after another he would eat the biscuits. Pippin decided that this was his favorite food besides mushrooms.  
  
As Pippin kept eating the biscuit Aragorn began to get worried that he was eating too much. He thought it best that he reach over and take the biscuits away, but after the mushroom incident he dared not to.  
  
"Legolas," Aragorn whispered, "I fear the little one is eating too many of those biscuits. I would take them away but after the mushroom thing I would rather have you do it."  
  
"So you would rather my head get bitten off than yours?" Legolas replied.  
  
"Please!" Aragorn said while giving Legolas his puppy eyes.  
  
"Fine." Legolas sighed as he reached over to the basket and took the biscuits away from Pippin and set them in front of Aragorn and himself.  
  
Looking up from his last biscuit to grab another, Pippin noticed the biscuits out of his reach. Looking first at Aragorn then at Legolas he gave them the puppy eyes. Ignoring him, both the elf and the man continued their meal.  
  
"Aragorn, Legolas. I cannot reach the biscuits. Hullo? Guys? Could I have the biscuits please?" Pippin began to plead. Ignoring him was becoming a real challenge for Legolas and Aragorn. Figuring that they just didn't hear him, Pippin began to reach across the table for the basket. Stretching his arm as far as it would go he was still far from the yummy pastry. He started to push himself up onto the table.  
  
"Ugh, Legolas." Pippin grunted with his stomach on the table. "Biscuits." Legolas and Aragorn watched as the tiny but destructive fingers crept toward the basket. Just another inch and Pippin's middle finger touched the edge of the basket and began to pull. The basket was pulled onto its side and the biscuits began to roll. Pippin reached out to catch them but the five that were left rolled next to Legolas and Aragorn.  
  
"NOOOOOO!!!!! MINE!!!!! "RAHHH!" *hiss* *spit* "Mine, my biscuit. I found it. You can't have it! Mine, mine, mine, stay away all of you! I found it, you didn't! Mine, mine it is all mine! My precious biscuit!!!!!!!!" Pippin launched himself onto Aragorn's lap and grabbed the biscuit that he was holding. Pippin stuffed the biscuit into his mouth. He swallowed it all at once. He choked. He died.  
  
"Nice going Mr. Here-Pippin-have-a-biscuit. Now what are we going to tell the others?" Aragorn yelled at Legolas.  
  
"Hey it's not my fault! I didn't want to come in the first place!" Legolas fought back.  
  
"So what should we do, Legolas?" Aragorn asked.  
  
"I don't know. Do you really think anyone will miss him?" Legolas said.  
  
"I doubt it. Lets just go back quietly and say we were sleeping the whole time." Aragorn said.  
  
"Yeah," Legolas said, "Sleeping the whole time. Good."  
  
Legolas and Aragorn quickly discarded of the hobbit's body into the river. Then they walked back to where everyone was sleeping and crawled into their bedrolls. The next morning everything went as planned and no one knew what happened to Pippin. The Fellowship went on without him.  
  
*****  
  
Did you like it? Review it and go read my one about Frodo and the muffins. Notes: I love Pippin! He is my favorite character. I cried when I thought he died in the book. But please remember that this is just my story. Please don't flame me just because Pippin died. 


End file.
